Many of us dream of getting away to someplace exotic and staying there for weeks if not months, but most never do.  There are many reasons:  too expensive, not enough saved up vacation time, family obligations or our pets/plants/gardens, but the biggest reason for most of us do not take time to enjoy ourselves is work.  I hear people say hey feel like it takes too much effort to get caught back up when they come back or that when they are away they are still getting work related phone calls or emails/texts.  My question is who’s fault are these last two excuses?

I understand the reasoning behind the first few items, these are real limiting circumstances that require real planning for.  But what is the excuse for not taking a day or two to spend with those that you enjoy being around even if it is just staying at home and reading a few good books.  There shouldn’t be any excuse.  I will admit I am work obsessed like most entrepreneurs and don’t take as much time away as I should.  I make excuses, such as ‘I get plenty of time away in the form of driving and attending community events.’  But those aren’t really times for me to relax and reflect.  Also for years I used the last two excuses from above to not take time, or when I took time I was not truly relaxed but I allowed myself to believe that “they just don’t do it without me”.  And in that statement is the key to the real problem, me.  So what can we all do about the “me” of the work excuse?  Below I propose a few thoughts about these two items that are holding us back.  Some of which we have put into practice here and some we still need to do better.

First, the excuse that the work just piles up while you are gone and you have to work double when you get back to catch up.  Why is it that this happens?  Is the role you play one that can’t be covered by someone else at your office?  Or is it an issue of you never taking the time to proactively enable someone to help you?  I have seen very few places where there isn’t someone both capable and willing to help out when someone is out.  If for no other reason than because they would like the same when they are out.  Many of us expect I to fall on the company to deal with cross training or up training but I can tell you as a leader at our company this isn’t always top of mind because we are a step away from the need until it is impacting day to day operations.  But I will tell you when I see or hear about people taking time to do cross training I smile and get interested.  I can’t imagine a business leader who would oppose you and a co-worker taking some time for cross training.  When the company has people cross trained it allows you to have staff out without loss of client support and it also allows you to promote and move people to other areas.  We use the saying “you can’t move up until you move someone up to take your place”, on occasion to reinforce this.  Now you can’t decide the day before you leave to stop everything and teach someone else everything you have learned over X years of doing the job.  To do cross training right it has to be thought out and planned.  How often do we know about a summer vacation months in advance?  Not too often so as soon as you are booking flights and hotels you should be booking time to work on this.  You may not want to train everything but just the things that either have to be done or do pile up so you can return to work with less to catch up on.  My favorite way of ensuring that not only does this happen within our office but outside is to use my Out of Office message on my email to let everyone know not only that I am out but also who is able to do each of the major tasks I deal with while I am gone.  Doing something similar in your voicemail or at least having it setup to redirect to someone that can help the person calling can really reduce the load when you return.

The second excuse I have used in the past is the old “I just need to check this one email/voicemail” with my family standing in line for whatever thing I should be part of.  Again the issue begins with “me” and can only be changed by me.  First if you have done the above most of what they are calling about is already addressed and this leaves you the ability to not check those messages as often.  The second step is to set clear expectations before you leave with those you work with about the fact that you have done the needed cross training and who is covering that for you.  Also about when and how they can reach you while you are out.  The last step is to then stick with those expectations.  The first time you are out there will be something that someone needs and you will be the easy way to get it answered/done and they will reach out breaking the agreed communication plan.  If you answered it and provide that answer/fix then you have just shown them that you aren’t taking the plan seriously and they will keep contacting you.  For me this goes back to the question I like to pose  to our team when asked about something “What would you do if I wasn’t here?  Is hat in keeping with our Mission, Values and Vision for the company?  If so go do that.”  Doing this shows hat I trust those that I have enabled to do things.  There are times we might talk about if the desired outcome was achieved or if there were other ways to handle it but in the end doing this has allowed me to not have to be the answer man for all things all the time.  Especially when I am supposed to be on vacation recharging myself so I an come back ready to continue to support the team.

Simon Sinek in Leaders Eat Last talks about the real reason many of us answer those calls or check those messages, not just work but personal ones.  It is because we have become addicted to feeling we get from the action.  It makes us feel good to check and make sure no one needs us and even better when they do and when we can be important at that moment.  But we have o work to retain ourselves to be able to be in the moment where ever that is with whomever we are with.  Because let’s face it, if we weren’t important why would we be there doing it right?  This isn’t an easy task.  I have started trying to leave my phone/tablet/PC in the car when I go to events and meetings, no quite as successful as I would like yet, so that I will be aware of the ‘twitch’ to check something but not be able to do it.  It is letting me feel the anxiety, recognize it and try and overcome it.  I hope to continue to get better at this.

So what would you do if you could take a few days and come back with no more to do than when you left?  After writing this I am realizing that I am due to take a few days not for golf, or to clean or catch up on TV but to recharge and reflect on 2014 because it is about over.  Maybe something we can talk about next month.  So tell me about your plans to be able to get away more/better.  I would love to be part of helping you achieve it and maybe you can help me achieve my goals too.